Pretty Oblivion

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.

The local paper read: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is: Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery, even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll be a lot happier and live longer!

A crusty old man walks into the local Baptist Church and says to the secretary, ‘ I would like to join this damn church.’ The astonished woman replies, ‘I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you What did you say?’ ‘Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!’ ‘I’m very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church.’ The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor’s study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, ‘Sir, what seems to be the problem here?’ ‘There is no damn problem,’ the man says. ‘I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money.’ ‘I see,’ said the pastor. ‘And is this bitch giving you a hard time?’

A crusty old man walks into the local Baptist Church and says to the secretary, ‘ I would like to join this damn church.’ The astonished woman replies, ‘I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you What did you say?’ ‘Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!’ ‘I’m very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church.’ The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor’s study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, ‘Sir, what seems to be the problem here?’ ‘There is no damn problem,’ the man says. ‘I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money.’ ‘I see,’ said the pastor. ‘And is this bitch giving you a hard time?’