Pretty Oblivion

Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.
I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week
before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had,
and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were
fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn’t show me dancing around a
pole. It’s supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home
Depot.
From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she
turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, ‘Name seven advantages of Mothers Milk,’ worth 70 points or none at all. One student who had also partied the night before, was hard put to think of seven advantages.
He wrote:

1.) It is perfect formula for the child.

2.) It provides immunity against several diseases.

3.) It is always the right temperature.

4.) It is inexpensive.

5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.

6.) It is always available as needed.

And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell indicating the end of the test rang, he w rote…

7.) It comes in such cute containers.